A Letter From Santa Claus To Lloyd Blankfein
Dear Lloyd:
The last story got me thinking. You are clearly lost and unhappy this holiday season. Yesterday came word that you've banned employee holiday parties of greater than twelve people. I'm pretty sure that's the stupidest idea I've ever heard, but what do I know, given that I eat reindeer, drink warm Yoo-Hoo, live in an ice bucket, hang out with sexually-ambiguous elves and wear red velvet with white fur.
But I still pay taxes. So I have some thoughts on your difficulties. A few weeks ago it was God's work and now it's a Warren Buffet Snuggie ($500 million small biz initiative). You're looking for salvation and public acceptance; you want to be liked, again.
Mrs. Claus, Rudolph and I have some simple advice for you and yours at 85 Broad Street:
- Give back the $13 billion you received via the Geithner-Friedman AIG stealth bailout; give up your FDIC debt guarantee; and give in to the demands of many and relinquish your crisis gift from Bernanke of designation as a bank-holding company.
Start telling the truth. You are a hedge fund borrowing at 0% from the Fed, speculating in debt, equity, currency, and commodity markets, while your downside belongs to us. Be the first large bank to shed all vestiges of the bailout; garner the positive press and your reputation will be on its way to restoration. Your million dollar consultants are afraid to tell you the truth. There is only one path to redemption.
- First step: Take the $20 billion set aside for bonus payments this year; instead give taxpayers $13 billion (but not to Geithner who will recycle it) and add $7 billion to your capital reserves. Don't forget FASB will be asking you to bring trash assets back onto the books in January. You'll need the money.
- And next year, take $15 billion of the likely $25 billion you'll have planned for bonuses, give taxpayers $5 billion more as punishment for being general bastards, put $10 billion more aside for future cap reqs, and then NEVER EVER come back asking us for more money again.
Merry Christmas,
Santa Fred Claus
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Dec 1, 2009 at 3:18 PM
Reader Comments (2)
November 8, 2009
I'm doing 'God's work'. Meet Mr Goldman Sachs
The Sunday Times gains unprecedented access to the world's most powerful, and most secretive, investment bank
http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/news/world/us_and_americas/article6907681.ece
Fear and Hope
Those are the only way to control a population. Goldman and the puppet government have destroyed the veil and are removing hope. That betrayal of trust, that sucker punch is not something new for Goldman. They have been stealing, defrauding, extorting and bribing their way through their entire existence.
The problem is that while Goldman may be thinking "gee what's the big deal, its what we do" Joe average has: a) never had it overtly negatively affect them before b) always had HOPE that they and their children could have a better life than they have if they worked hard and did the right things ... because there was an underlying belief that there is equal protection under the law and the US is a place where things can be fair if not equitable.
That has been totally blown out of the water with this betrayal of trust and extreme exhibition of arrogance by Mr "God's Work". He must be a completely clueless moron ... just another Jimmy Cayne OR just possibly, he has enflamed people intentionally.
When Goldman goes down the WORLD will celebrate and claim a (hollow) victory. Will the next great leader be the one that saves the US from the devil Goldman... and possibly from the Fed as well (more important.. but at what cost?)?
People will have hope if they believe that they are in a position that they deserve. People lose it when they are thrown there through no fault of their own while at the same time they see the Goldmanites mocking them simply through their presence.
Obama=Chicago Mob Shill= Goldman Sachs Puppet