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« Biden: 'I'm Proud To Be PRESIDENT Of The United States' | Main | James Grant: 'Bernanke's Helicopter Needs A Bailout' »
Friday
Feb082013

PAUL HARVEY: So God Made A Banker

Paul Harvey narrates the Dodge Super Bowl Ad - So God Made A Farmer.

This is outstanding for anyone who hasn't seen it.

---

And Brett Arends at marketwatch flips the script.

So God Made A Banker

And on the eighth day God looked down on his planned paradise and said, “I need someone who can flip this for a quick buck.”

So God made a banker.

God said, “I need someone who doesn’t grow anything or make anything but who will borrow money from the public at 0% interest and then lend it back to the public at 2% or 5% or 10% and pay himself a bonus for doing so.”

So God made a banker.

God said, “I need someone who will take money from the people who work and save, and use that money to create a dotcom bubble and a housing bubble and a stock bubble and an oil bubble and a commodities bubble and a bond bubble and another stock bubble, and then sell it to people in Poughkeepsie and Spokane and Bakersfield, and pay himself another bonus.”

So God made a banker.

God said, “I need someone to build homes in the swamps and deserts using shoddy materials and other people’s money, and then use these homes as collateral for a Ponzi scheme he can sell to pensioners in California and Michigan and Sweden. I need someone who will then foreclose on those homes, kick out the occupants, and switch off the air conditioning and the plumbing, and watch the houses turn back into dirt. And then pay himself another bonus.”

God said, “I need someone to lend money to people with bad credit at 30% interest in order to get his stock price up, and then, just before the loans turn bad, cash out his stock and walk away. And who, when asked later, will, with a tearful eye, say the government made him do it.”

God said, “And I need somebody who will tell everyone else to stand on their own two feet, but who will then run to the government for a bailout as soon as he gets into trouble — and who will then use that bailout money to help elect a Congress that will look the other way. And then pay himself another bonus.”

So God made a banker.

 

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Reader Comments (5)

And on the eighth day the Devil looked down on God's paradise and said, “I need someone who can flip this for a quick buck.”

So the Devil made a banker.

The Devil said, “I need someone who doesn’t grow anything or make anything but who will borrow money from the public at 0% interest and then lend it back to the public at 2% or 5% or 10% and pay himself a bonus for doing so.”

So the Devil made a banker.

The Devil said, “I need someone who will take money from the people who work and save, and use that money to create a dot.com bubble and a housing bubble and a stock bubble and an oil bubble and a commodities bubble and a bond bubble and another stock bubble, and then sell it to people in Poughkeepsie and Spokane and Bakersfield, and pay himself another bonus.”

So the Devil made a banker.

The Devil said, “I need someone to build homes in the swamps and deserts using shoddy materials and other people’s money, and then use these homes as collateral for a Ponzi scheme he can sell to pensioners in California and Michigan and Sweden. I need someone who will then foreclose on those homes, kick out the occupants, and switch off the air conditioning and the plumbing, and watch the houses turn back into dirt. And then pay himself another bonus.”

So the Devil made a banker.

The Devil said, “I need someone to lend money to people with bad credit at 30% interest in order to get his stock price up, and then, just before the loans turn bad, cash out his stock and walk away. And who, when asked later, will, with a tearful eye, say the government made him do it.”

So the Devil made a banker.

The Devil said, “And I need somebody who will tell everyone else to stand on their own two feet, but who will then run to the government for a bailout as soon as he gets into trouble — and who will then use that bailout money to help elect a Congress that will look the other way. And then pay himself another bonus.”

So the Devil made a banker.
Feb 6, 2013 at 4:11 PM | Unregistered CommenterGreg Burton
And on the eighth day Santa Claus looked down...
Feb 6, 2013 at 4:49 PM | Unregistered CommenterAnne
Anne

This post isn't about God. I use the Santa Claus line a lot myself.
Feb 6, 2013 at 5:28 PM | Registered CommenterDailyBail
Yeah, this would have been infinitely better if he said Satan created the banker.
Feb 6, 2013 at 6:53 PM | Unregistered CommenterSuperman
According to the banker, he was a self-made man. Little did he realize his sponsorship; much like his father the Devil: that Alynsky-hailed first revolutionary. The closer I get, the stranger the banker is.
Feb 7, 2013 at 1:39 PM | Unregistered CommenterGood News

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