Conan O'Brien Rips U.S. Indebtedness To China
Start watching at the 40-second mark. This is pretty funny.
"The U.S. is leading China in both number of gold medals and number of total medals. In response, China said that’s nice but we still have all your money."
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Late Night China Laughs
"China is now expected to surpass Japan as the 2nd richest country in the world. They could become the richest, but that's only if we pay them the money we owe them, and that's not going to happen." –Jay Leno
"A new survey shows that 1 in 5 Americans believe that God steers the economy. Mystery solved: God is Chinese." –Conan O'Brien
"The U.S. is now in serious danger of defaulting on our foreign loans, which explains why today, China showed up and broke the Statue of Liberty's kneecaps." –Jimmy Fallon
"President Obama has offered bailout money to keep Greece from defaulting on its loans. Yeah, when Greece thanked him, Obama was like, 'Don't mention it . . . to China, because it's their money.'" —Jimmy Fallon
"In China they say piracy is so rampant that there are at least three fake Apple stores. It's hard to put these people out of the business. If China arrests them for selling fake Apple products, they'll be sent to prison where they will be forced to make real Apple products." –Jay Leno
"Two things you need to know about taxes. They've extended the deadline to April 18, and when you write your check, just make it out to China." –David Letterman
"President Obama revealed that up until a few years ago, he was still paying off his student loans. In response, China was like, 'Oh, so you DO know how to repay loans.'" –Jimmy Fallon
"America is producing fewer Caucasian babies. I suppose China is beating us at that too." –Stephen Colbert
"Chinese President Hu Jintao was hinting that China may not loan the U.S. any more money. President Obama is now talking to him about a reverse mortgage." –Jay Leno
"It was quite a site to see Obama next to President Hu. Obama has a Nobel Peace Prize in his basement, and Hu has a Nobel Peace prize winner in his." –Bill Maher
"While visiting Chicago, President Hu met with Cubs fans. Apparently, he wanted to see some Americans who have suffered more human rights violations than his own people." –Jay Leno
"The White House held a state dinner for Chinese President Hu Jintao. There were 200 people, a six-course dinner, and champagne. It was so expensive that we had to borrow money from China for the dinner." –David Letterman
"Chinese President Hu Jintao had dinner at the White House with President Obama and first lady Michelle. They were going to exchange gifts from the two countries, but unfortunately everything in our country is now made in their country, so they couldn't do any exchanging." –Jay Leno
"There was one really awkward moment when Hu found out that Obama was a Nobel Peace Prize winner and, out of force of habit, tried to have him arrested." –Jay Leno
"Chinese President Hu Jintao visited President Obama at the White House yesterday. There was one very awkward moment when the Chinese President met the Obama daughters and asked, 'So, which factory do you work at?'" –Jay Leno
"At the state dinner for Chinese President Hu Jintao, Hu opened a fortune cookie that said, 'You will lend us another trillion dollars.'" –Conan O'Brien
"Hu told President Obama's 9-year-old daughter, Sasha, that she's a pretty little girl and asked her how many iPods she could make in an hour." –Conan O'Brien
"Chinese President Hu Jintao is visiting us. When a country owes you a billion dollars they have a problem. When they owe you a trillion dollars, YOU have a problem. We’re too big to fail!" –Jon Stewart
"The President of China is in Washington. It's a bit like when you're into your bookie for more than you can afford, and he stops by the house to say hello." –Jimmy Kimmel
"China's President Hu is visiting the United States. If he likes what he sees, he may put down a deposit." –David Letterman
"The White House held a state dinner for Chinese President Hu Jintao. President Obama wore a traditional Chinese-made garment: a pair of Nikes." –Jay Leno
"Obama and Hu had a private dinner the night before. When Obama tried to pick up the check, Hu said, 'Your money is no good here.' Obama laughed, and Hu said, 'No, really, your money is no good.'" –Jay Leno
"Chinese President Hu Jintao visited the White House. Fox News said it was a gathering of the world's most powerful communist — and the president of China." –Craig Ferguson
"Chinese President Hu Jintao will be at the White House next week. The good news is, he has no plans to foreclose. We can stay another month." –Jay Leno
Aug 22, 2012 at 3:10 AM
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