Never say 'explosive peanut butter' in front of a TSA agent.
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New York Daily News
Take a jar of fancy peanut butter, add a dumb joke about explosives at airport security, and you’ve got the makings of a nutty federal lawsuit.
A former New Yorker is suing a TSA worker at LaGuardia Airport and a Port Authority cop for $5 million after they busted him for trying to bring a jar of Crazy Richard’s peanut butter on the plane.
Frank Hannibal claims in a complaint filed in Brooklyn Federal Court that he wound up in the sticky situation when the screener noticed the layer of oil atop his gourmet peanut butter — and ordered him out of the line.
“They’re looking to confiscate my explosives,” Hannibal sarcastically told his wife and twin 6-year-old daughters, the court papers state.
The TSA worker, identified in the papers as Edwin Sanchez, overheard Hannibal, apparently didn’t get the joke — and called the cops.
Minutes later, Officer Spencer Newman slapped the cuffs on Hannibal and charged him with falsely reporting an incident, a felony, then dragged him off to jail where he spent the next 25 hours, and where he was served a peanut-butter and jelly sandwich.
"It sounds laughable now but at the time to be led out of there like a terrorist was unbelievable. My whole life was up in the air. It was a nightmare. My children were overwhelmed. It was crazy.”
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“It’s a sorry state of affairs in this country when sarcasm is considered a felony,” his attorney, Alan D. Levine of Queens, noted, adding that TSA agents need to act with common sense in such situations.
This is not an isolated incident. The TSA has a history of concentrating on looking out for cakes and pies, as well as sauces, oils and vinegars.
The Homeland Security agency has also instituted a crack down on candy and cupcakes.
At the same time, people are routinely waltzing through security lines with swords, knives, explosives and guns. Many agents are too busy groping women and searching old people’s diapers tobother checking passports and flight passes.
Still, it’s good to know that the government is keeping Americans safe from sandwich wielding jokers.