The Daily Bail

A funny piece this week from Paul Farrell of Marketwatch

• Yes, Halloween is a perfect holiday to commemorate how the Goldman Conspiracy and Wall Street's other too-greedy-to-fail gangster banks have returned from the dead, like mummies, ghouls, zombies and vampires, rising out of their tombs, crypts, catacombs and mausoleums to suck the bloody retirement funds from the souls of living and unborn future generations.

• Our inspiration for this commemorative celebration is Michael Jackson's mind-blowing "Thriller." And thanks to Hank Paulson, their Trojan Horse in Washington, the Goldman Conspiracy deserves center stage as the lead dancer and choreographer in Wall Street's "Thriller" revival.

• Notably, the other too-stupid-to-fail banks do some fabulous dancing in the chorus behind the Goldman Conspiracy, making 2009 one of the greatest in history for bonuses, as we all wait gleefully for a sequel to "Halloween," "Friday the 13th," "Curse of the Mummy" or "Night of the Living Dead."

• With all this excitement and thrilling anticipation, we propose to honor the return of the too-evil-to-die undead banks with the first ever "Goldman Conspiracy's Halloween Chainsaw Massacre Costume Ball," giving full recognition to Hank Paulson's historic role in leading this bloody massacre of America and capitalism for Goldman and Wall Street.

1. Hank Paulson as Leatherface in 'The Texas Chainsaw Massacre'

Remember Leatherface slicing up sweet souls to feed his family of cannibals: a metaphor for Wall Street.  Back in 2006 when ol' Hank took over the Treasury he secretly warned the White House of a meltdown dead ahead.  The former Treasury secretary and Goldman Sachs' CEO knew Goldman's role in creating the derivatives bubble.  Did nothing, even lied publicly. Hank then chainsaw-massacred Congress, Treasury, and future generations of taxpayers to protect his Goldman buddies.

2. Arthur Levitt as the notorious bank robber 'Dillinger'

Seven years ago the former SEC boss and defender of the little guy told Fortune: "America's investors have been ripped off as massively as a bank being held up by a guy with a gun and a mask." Now he's gone over to the dark side, an adviser to the Goldman Conspiracy, defending high-frequency trading in a Wall Street Journal editorial. He needs a mask.

3. Fed Chairman Ben Bernanke as Bela Lugosi, the vampire in 'Count Dracula'

He doesn't need a mask. Anyone who can rule the known world from behind the Fed's shadowy castle walls and suck $23 trillion of blood from future generations of taxpayers, without Congress oversight, and get away with it, is the bona fide Dracula. Must have a standing offer with Goldman when he retires, plus lecturing and books like Alan Greenspan.

4. Lloyd Blankfein, Goldman's boss as a 'Giant Vampire Squid'

OK, not a movie character, yet. But Matt Taibbi's image of Goldman Sachs in Rolling Stone has a special slasher-movie flavor that's delicious, succulent, very Hitchcockian.

5. Tim Geithner as Damian, the young prince of darkness in 'The Omen'

He has that deceptive boyish charm, got the job as Treasury secretary because the too-greedy-to-fail banks saw him as the perfect Trojan Horse replacing Paulson. Great for raiding the Treasury. When he leaves Obama, you can bet he's headed for a huge bonus deal from Goldman.

6. Larry Summers as Hannibal Lecter in 'Silence of the Lambs'

The Hannibal mask is a party favorite. But can you really trust either one of these characters for economic advice or a meal of "liver, fava beans and a nice Chianti?" Still, with the steady flow of talent back and forth between Washington and Wall Street, Summers, chairman of the National Economic Council and a former Treasury secretary, has got to be another one with a megadeal waiting for him with the Goldman Conspiracy.

7. Mad Man Jim Cramer as Jack Nicholson in 'The Shining'

CNBC TV host Cramer's as good as Jack. Could also come to the Chainsaw Massacre Ball as Colonel Jessep in "A Few Good Men." Or the obsessive-compulsive in "As Good As It Gets." And no, he doesn't want a deal with Goldman, knows too much, been there, done that.

10. Sarah Palin as Norman Bates' mother in Hitchcock's 'Psycho'

Yes, she's like Norman's alter ego, did to McCain what happened to poor Janet Leigh in the famous shower scene -- knifed.

11. Rush Limbaugh as Freddie Krueger in 'Nightmare on Elm Street'

Freddie's one of the undead, armed with gloves of razors. He stalks and attacks you in your dreams, then kills in the real world. Returns from Hell over and over, for all eternity.

12. Sheila Bair as Glinda, the Good Witch of the North in 'Wizard of Oz'

The FDIC head is the only sane person in Washington still representing Main Street.

13. Keith Olbermann as The Joker in 'Dark Knight'

Turn the guy loose in Gotham City and Washington, stir the pot and let the fun begin.

See all 23 characters HERE

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